


In my weariness I still hear you singing in my mind

by where_the_kissing_never_stops



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: 4x12-4x13, Angst, Canon Era, Episode: s04e12-13 The Sword in the Stone, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, gwaine and percival are so gay for each other it's unreal, honestly you two let me live, this is how I like to think it went
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 11:23:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7506361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/where_the_kissing_never_stops/pseuds/where_the_kissing_never_stops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Arthur, Merlin and the Knights prepare to take back Camelot, Gwaine, Elyan and Gaius are stuck in Camelot's dungeons as Morgana sits on the throne. One possible account of events that unfolded between these unfortunate three.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This took me over a month to write, as it was over my exams. (This is the excuse I tell myself as to why I couldn't get my act together and get this finished quicker.) 
> 
> Also, the title of this work is a lyric from the song Shifts by Katatonia. I really hope you enjoy this. Any comments are much appreciated!

The cell was quiet. The only sounds were Gaius’ deep but weakening breaths. Elyan sat with his head back against the wall, his eyes shut. Gaius was lying on the so-called bed in the cell, his chest rising and falling as he slept. Gwaine was the only one seemingly awake. He was sat up, his knees brought to his chest, his hands clasped and his head drooped. His eyes were open but barely.

Elyan stirred. Slowly the knight opened his eyes and scanned the cell. It was barely light enough to see Gaius’ and Gwaine’s still shapes in the shadows. No bird song, no people, no other sound to drown out the silence.

Gwaine then moved. He lifted his head and rested it against the wall, eyes open.

“Gwaine?” Elyan whispered in the darkness.

“What?” replied Gwaine, a little louder.

“Are you okay?”

“What do you think?” he shot at his friend. “Sorry…” Gwaine began, then shook his head and breathed out a sad smile. “I didn’t mean to snap, I’m just thinking.”

Elyan faced him. “Arthur will be fine. He’s got Merlin with him, which somehow means he’s the safest he could be.” He chuckled, trying to coax his friend into a laugh, but Gwaine stayed silent. “He will be fine; he and Merlin were safe when they left.”

“And Percival?” Gwaine spoke with the same bitterness as before. “You lost sight of him. He’s not with Arthur and Merlin.” He put his head in his hands. “What if Morgana found him?”

“Gwaine, if Morgana had Percival, we would know about it. I’m sure he’s fine.” Gwaine’s head turned towards Elyan’s, anxiety wracking his body. “I bet he’s with Leon; safe.” Elyan smiled at his fellow knight. Gaius stirred again, but did not wake. Gwaine puffed out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “I really hope you’re right about that. If anything happens to him…”

Elyan looked at Gwaine, not sure what to say. He glanced at Gaius who was seemingly in a deep sleep, his breathing weak but regular. The cell was getting lighter as the moments ticked by; dawn was coming. Then, he broke the silence. “You… Is there something between the two of you?”

His friend breathed heavily. “I don’t know anymore. There has always been something, but now… After Lamia, after the arguments and the fights of those few days, it was not great. I suppose I was jealous, seeing the way he looked at her and the way he cradled her…” He snorted. “How foolish of me.”

“You knew nothing then; don’t blame yourself for feeling this way-”

“It’s still awful. And then the fights we had over _her_ , the things I said to him, I will regret them for the rest of my days.”  Gwaine looked at Elyan. “Sorry, I’m sure you really wanted to hear about all this.”

Elyan leaned over and patted his friend’s knee. “You’ll fix this. You’ll sort it out, together.”

Gwaine nodded. “I just… want him safe. And back here.” He laughed at himself and shook his head, closing his eyes. “How ridiculous does that sound? Gwaine paused softly before whispering, “But I can’t help it.” He squeezed his eyes shut.

Across the cell, Elyan saw this new side of Gwaine; raw and exposed and threatened. He didn’t really know what to do, or whether to do anything at all. A bird started tweeting, interrupting his thoughts and shattering the ambience.

The long haired knight sniffed and shook his head. “Anyway, I’m going to try and sleep before they haul me out for more fun.”

“Gwaine.” Elyan spoke softly, cautious of how Gwaine might respond. His friend turned to look at him. “We will see him again; you have my word, when we get out of here, I will help you find him.

“If we get out of here,” Gwaine mumbled, before leaning back against the wall and closing his eyes. Elyan opened his mouth to talk, but decided against saying anything. He too closed his eyes, leaned back and wished his fellow knights, least of all Percival for Gwaine’s sake, were safe.

 

* * *

 

“Gwaine! Gwaine!”

The long haired knight lifted his head. “Percival?”

The taller knight smiled at him before saying, “We don’t have long; we need to move.” Gwaine started getting to his feet, but slouched against the wall, unable to support his own weight. Percival stopped him from falling, and slung Gwaine’s arm around his own neck whilst putting an arm around Gwaine’s waist.

“You alright?” Percival asked his friend. Gwaine nodded slightly, his eyes closed, and they started moving.  
“Wait,” Gwaine murmured, “what about Elyan? Gaius?”

Percival looked at him with a confused expression. “You’re delirious. We need to get you out.”

“The prisoner has escaped!” Voices echoed down the corridor.

“We need to move, Gwaine!”

“But Perc-”

Before Gwaine could respond, there were soldiers rounding the corner in front of them. As they started running towards the two men, Percival led Gwaine to the wall and propped him up against it.

“Don’t move. I’ll be back for you.”

“You-”

“Please, Gwaine, stay here, stay out of harm’s way. If anything happens to you…” They locked eyes before Percival got to his feet and drew his sword and faced the oncoming guards. He sliced and slashed and Gwaine could only watch on, powerless to do anything. As the soldiers started to surround Percival, the long haired man caught his friend’s eye and as Percival raised the sword above his head he let out an almighty yell as a guard plunged his sword into the bigger man’s frame.

“NO!” Gwaine half screamed, half sobbed. Through the ring of soldiers he saw his friend fall to his knees and drop his sword. They locked eyes once again.

“I’m sorry,” Percival mouthed at Gwaine before another soldier struck the knight’s side. Another howl of pain.

Gwaine hauled himself up and lumbered towards his fallen companion. The soldiers started walking away from the scene, oblivious to Gwaine, who was kneeling alongside his friend.

“…Percival,” whimpered Gwaine, pulling him into his lap. Percival’s eyes opened slowly and weakly. Gwaine swallowed back a sob. “Hey,” he whispered down to Percival. "Stay with me."

His friend looked back at him and smiled weakly. “Gwaine,” he whispered back and lifted his hand up to touch Gwaine’s cheek. Then his smile started to fade, his hand slipped from Gwaine’s face and his eyes started to glaze over.

“No…” Gwaine softly mumbled, a tear spilling onto his cheek. “Percival.” Gwaine tried to shake his friend, but his arm fell limply to the floor. He let out a sob as he closed Percival’s eyes, bent down and kissed him.

“NO!” The scream ripped from Gwaine’s lungs, the pain and suffering in his voice so raw and brutal. He cried and cried, rocking Percival’s frame back and forth, sobs wracking his body. He closed his eyes.

“You can’t be dead!”

“Gwaine?” The voice came from in front of him. Gwaine opened his wet, sore eyes but saw no one. “Gwaine!” The voice was louder. “Gwaine!” Frantic. As Gwaine looked around the corridor through teary eyes his vision began to fade. Black spots clouded his sight and he felt himself grow even weaker. His limp hands let go of Percival as he fell on his back.

“Gwaine!” One last call. With the last of his vision turning to darkness, Gwaine cried out, “Don’t take him away from me!”

Silence. Darkness.

 

* * *

 

“Gwaine!” Elyan grabbed the knight’s shoulders to try and bring him back. “Wake up!”

At that moment, Gwaine’s eyes snapped open and he took a sharp intake of breath. The cell was light and he could see Elyan’s confused yet concerned face in front of him. Panting, he looked around the room. No soldiers. No Percival. He saw Gaius lying on his back still on the bed. He rubbed his face with his hands and found his cheeks sodden with tears he never knew he’d shed.

“You, you started shaking, screaming, crying.” Gwaine looked at Elyan. “But you’re okay now.” A moment’s pause. “What happened, Gwaine?” The other man looked forlorn. He shook his head. “I… I lost him.” He wiped his eyes.

Elyan looked pitifully at his friend. He squeezed Gwaine’s shoulder and said, “I won’t let that happen.” A small nod of thanks from Gwaine was all he got in return. Elyan leaned against the wall opposite him, wishing, willing for this to all be over.


	2. Chapter 2

Midday.

Gaius had awoken for a few minutes, but did not have the energy to maintain a conversation.

Elyan had been drifting in and out of sleep since Gwaine’s outburst, stabbing hunger pains waking him every time.

Gwaine hadn’t returned to sleep since his dream. He stayed still as the guards came to the gate to jeer and taunt them with food and shouts of ‘you’ve been left for dead!’ and ‘they’re not coming back for you!’, and Gwaine was almost believing them.

He heard Elyan couch and he looked at him across the cell. Elyan was looking back at Gwaine. “How are you doing?”

Gwaine shifted, obviously uncomfortable. “I’ve been better,” he responded, deadpan. Before Elyan could ask anything else, he quickly added. “Don’t- please don’t say anything about what happened. I beg you.”

“Of course,” Elyan replied without a moment’s lapse, “I give you my word, Gwaine.”

“Thanks,” he smiled weakly before closing his eyes and leaning back against the wall. “I would be a laughing stock; a knight of Camelot, crying, not even over a girl, but a man.” He sighed.

“Gwaine-”

“Don’t,” Gwaine stated authoritatively, and Elyan respected that and stayed quiet. Gwaine shifted again before saying, “Anyway, only a few more hours before dinner, right?” He said, spite filling his tone. “Until more fun.” He turned his back on Elyan and Gaius.

 

* * *

 

The hours ticked by slower than ever, the cell growing fainter as the light faded. Gaius had barely stirred let alone woken completely, as the lack of food took its toll on him and the knights. However, after a few hours’ sleep, Gwaine was chipper despite what happened the previous night.

He told stories from the days before he was a Knight of Camelot, even before he’d met Arthur and Merlin. He spoke of a time when he was a child, and he and other children of the village made mud pies on the river bank, and after being dared to eat one, he ate two and was ill for the following days. He told a different story from his first time drinking mead. It tasted so sweet that he couldn’t stop himself from drinking more. He drank until he could no longer walk and fell over, face down in a puddle, then got upset by how disgusting his hair looked. At that point, Elyan interjected. “Well, nothing’s changed there!”

Gwaine jokingly retorted, “Oi, do you know how long it takes to grow these luscious locks? Too long.”

Gwaine then started another story from the days after he met Merlin and Arthur, but was banished from the kingdom. He was halfway through when the warning bell sounded. He stopped abruptly and looked at Elyan who was wide-eyed. They both paused for a moment, but then they scrambled to the gate as fast as they could. Gwaine hauled himself up onto his knees by grabbing the bars with both his hands, and Elyan stood next to him, shackles pulled taught, watching and waiting.

And wait they did. They watched guard after guard hurry to the cell to check the prisoners hadn’t escaped, and then they left the way they came. Gwaine sat down after the eighth guard came up to their cell and left without a word. Shortly after, Elyan did the same. A few moments later, the warning bell stopped ringing.

“Argh!” Gwaine shouted, summoning all his strength and hitting the bars with as much force as he could muster.

“Why didn’t they come for us?” asked Elyan, exasperated.

“Maybe it wasn’t them?

“Who else would it have been, Gwaine?” Elyan pinched the bridge of his nose. They didn’t even look for us.”

“We can’t last much longer,” Gwaine moaned quietly.

“What if they gave up? What if they had to run?”

“Elyan, they are Knights of Camelot like us, they wouldn’t give up.” He dropped his head before adding softly, “They can’t.”

The two knights sat in silence for a while with only the sound of Gaius’ hoarse and shallow breathing piercing the air. As Elyan was drifting off to sleep, Gwaine’s voice sounded. “They’ll come back.” He sounded more confident than he felt. “Merlin, Arthur, Gwen, Leon. We know them, and they wouldn’t give up.” He sighed. “And Percival, he wouldn’t either.”

“He cares about you deeply, Gwaine,” Elyan piped up in the dark.

“You think?”

“Gwaine, do you have eyes? Of course he does. The way he looks at you as if you’re worth dying for, I wish a girl would look at me like that.” He chuckled.

“Thanks, Elyan,” Gwaine said, “but if you mention this to anyone, I’ll run you through.” Both of them breathed a laugh before the silence swallowed them again.

 

* * *

 

The following morning was eerily quiet. Gwaine hadn’t ‘danced for their dinner’ the night before, so Gaius hadn’t eaten anything for almost two days, and the knights for almost a week. Gwaine could barely move after zero food and borderline torturous fighting. His body ached and the slightest movement made his grimace from the pain. But if there was one thing worse than the lack of energy, it was the constant pain in his stomach. He, along with the other two, would not last much longer.

Gwaine looked over at Elyan, who was sleeping. He glanced at Gaius who too was asleep. He then looked through the bars, more out of need than hope, wanting to see a knight, a soldier or even Merlin there, ready to break them out. But he had no such luck.

He was just falling back to sleep when Gaius said, “Bell,” in a very weak voice.”

“Gaius?” Gwaine asked, confused.

“Bell,” Gaius repeated, still weak but more audible. And sure enough, the warning bell was sounding again.

“Elyan,” Gwaine projected across the cell as loudly as he could, and his friend opened his eyes. “The bell’s sounded.”

Elyan yawned and rubbed his eye. “Do you think they’ll come for us this time?”

“They’d bloody better, if we stay here much longer, we’re dead.” He sighed.

They waited. Again, guards filtered past them, but far fewer than before.

“There’s not as many as before,” Gwaine noted aloud, “do you think this means they’re actually here?”

Elyan sighed. “I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

A long pause. “Elyan?”

“Gwaine?”

“Can we pretend none of this ever happened?”

“I said-"

“I know you did, but I just had to make sure,” Gwaine said with a weak smile.

They sat quietly for a few minutes. Then, they heard keys jangling and hurried footsteps. Elyan stood up and walked towards the gate, the shackles on his ankles causing him pain, making him wince and take small steps. Gwaine turned around and grabbed the bars. He was there, in front of his very eyes. Percival. The tall knight caught the keys which had been thrown to him, turned around and headed towards the cell. Gwaine couldn’t stop staring. Percival was here to get him out. He then saw Leon round the corner and Gwaine stopped staring, not wanting to appear, well, in love.

“Come on boys,” he said with a smile, “what’s taken you so long?” The second Percival opened the gate, Gwaine’s strength disappeared and he slouched against the wall, overcome with relief and still smiling. Percival walked past him and went to greet Elyan. As he did, Leon crouched down in front of Gwaine and started helping him up, unlocking his shackles.

“You alright?” Percival asked Elyan, gripping his arm in welcome.

“I’ve been locked up with Gwaine for a week,” was Elyan’s reply, not giving anything away. As Gwaine got to his feet, Percival properly looked at him; Gwaine saw this out of the corner of his eye. His legs could not support his weight and he faltered, his knees buckling under him, but Leon caught him before he fell. He slung Gwaine’s arm around his neck as Percival and Elyan helped Gaius up.

It was a long and arduous trek back to his room, but Gwaine managed to get there in one piece. Leon was generally quiet apart from the odd ‘how’re you doing?’ or ‘still going?’ with a nod or grunt of approval from Gwaine. As they went through the door to his chambers, Leon almost had to drag his friend to his bed. He lay him down heavily and Gwaine stayed still, panting.

“I’ll get you some food,” said Leon as he left the room. Gwaine was so tired he was sure he could sleep for a week, but the hunger was driving him mad. He couldn’t move and could barely keep his eyes open.

As he resided to the fact that a short nap before food was probably a good idea, there were three short raps on the door.

“Yes,” he croaked, and the door opened. In walked Arthur, and Leon, carrying a tray of bread and crackers with a jug of water and a cup. “You call that food?” he managed to get out.

Arthur laughed and smiled down at him. “It’s good to see you too, Gwaine.” The long haired knight smiled a small smile back. He and Leon walked over to Gwaine’s bed, and Leon laced the tray on his bed.

“You need to eat slowly; we don’t know how your body will react to food after not eating anything for a week.”

“I don’t even know if I have the strength to eat.” He coughed as he tried to sit up.

“Take it easy, Gwaine, you’ve been through a lot from what Elyan said. I’m surprised you can even talk.”  
“Arthur, this is Gwaine you’re talking about,” Leon interrupted with a smile, and added with a laugh, “he could rival Merlin with his inability to stop talking.”

“Someone mention my name?” Merlin said with a smirk as he entered the room and walked over to Gwaine. “How are you feeling?"

“Like death,” he groaned and reached over to the tray. He took a cracker and tried to lift the jug but his arm failed him. Leon took the jug and poured him half a cup. As Gwaine ate the cracker, taking a small bite, Arthur excused himself, wishing Gwaine a quick recovery and patted the knight softly on the shoulder as he left. Leon gave him the cup and too excused him. Merlin the perched on the side of Gwaine’s bed and said, “It’s a miracle you’re not dead, Gwaine, you should’ve starved already.”

The knight smiled at his friend and swallowed. “Don’t underestimate me, Merlin, I’m full of surprises.” He took a sip of water.

“Seriously, Gwaine, how are you still alive?”

“I guess I must have unfinished business.”

At that moment the door opened slowly and Percival stuck his head around it. Gwaine’s eyes flicked towards him and his heart skipped, and then started hammering under his shirt harder than it had for days.

“Percival,” he breathed. Merlin looked at Gwaine, then at Percival, then back at Gwaine. He then got to his feet and quickly excused himself with ‘need to check on Gaius’ and a small, unnoticeable smirk upon his face. All of a sudden, the two knights were alone.

“Gwaine,” Percival said gently, and came and sat on the bed. “Um, how have you been?”

The smaller knight tilted his head. “Bit of a daft question.” They both shared a laugh. “I never thought I’d see you again.”

“I was the same,” Percival mumbled, “and after how things have been, have been… between us, after Lamia, I couldn’t bear to leave it like that. And the thought of you here, at the mercy of Morgana, even dying here, it tortured me.” He dipped his head. Suddenly he took Gwaine’s hand in his own. Gwaine stared at his hand with a furrowed brow and looked over at Percival.

“What are you-” He was silenced by Percival’s lips covering his own. Gwaine stiffened and Percival quickly pulled away, looking a little lost, almost upset.

“You don’t feel the same.”

“What?” Gwaine choked out.

“You tensed up, Gwaine, you don’t feel the same.” Percival let go of Gwaine’s hand. “And I need to respect that.”

“Perce, shut up already.” He did and Gwaine continued. “I was shocked, that’s all. You have no idea how much I’ve missed you, how much I wanted to hug you, laugh with you, to- to kiss you.” A big grin grew on Percival’s face. “So for god's sake, please, hurry up and kiss me again.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, Percival complied. It was gentle and soothing and all that Gwaine craved, but the passion was there, and was mirrored and echoed throughout the embrace. Gwaine wanted this moment to last forever. He hadn’t felt so at home in a long time. However, Percival withdrew sooner than Gwaine wished, and as he started to protest, Percival held a finger against his lips.

“Not until you’ve rested,” he instructed with a smirk. He squeezed Gwaine’s hand and winked, then got to his feet. Gwaine’s face dropped as he didn’t want to let his friend, his fellow knight, his lover out of his sight, but sleep was winning the battle. Percival smiles sympathetically. “Eat and sleep, that’s an order.”

“Aye, sir,” Gwaine laughed sleepily, but grew serious. “Thank you for saving me.”

Percival nodded and smiled before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Gwaine shifted down into his bed as best he could, and sighed a happy sigh before closing his eyes. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we are! Pure unadulterated fluff which I definitely needed to get out of my system. Really hope you liked it!


End file.
